Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life

BONUS: This edition contains an excerpt from Dr. Susan Forward's Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them.


When you were a child...

Did your parents tell you were bad or worthless?

Did your parents use physical pain to discipline you?

Did you have to take care of your parents because of their problems?

Were you frightened of your parents?

Did your parents do anything to you that had to be kept secret?

Now th

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31 Knots concert at Big Orange Studios on 09 May 07

The first one-eighth of what you need to know about Portland’s 31 Knots can be discerned from something lead singer Joe Haege said between songs – a banter, if you will – at a performance here in Rock Island, Ill., last month. He didn’t mince words. He told the handsomely sized Tuesday night crowd that while bassist Jay Winebrenner nursed his allergies in Chicago the following day, he was going to be “knocking boots” with his girlfriend in his parents’ house. Maybe later they’d go see a matinee or something. This is provided as interesting because that was not Haege talking. It was the man he becomes when he performs and that character carries the burden of more sin than a roll called at the state pen. He’d blush to say those things in standard conversation, one would believe. He’s more of a latter day saint when he’s off the stage and a crazied evangelist of something other than religion, much stronger, in fact, than religion, when he’s up there conjuring the hellfires, wishing for them to erupt right out of his mouth and bathe the crowd. He makes you feel like you’re convalescing when you’d been under no impression that things weren’t right. There’s a purging that you’ll go through that might take you through a substantial number of dark valleys — the ones you don’t talk about at parties — but popping out of the other side of that train tunnel is exhilerating. He makes you feel like blood – the actual life fluid and the picture of it, as powerful in speech, sight or function. He rails against the vapidity that is popular culture. He must know a lot of fuck-ups, or he’s just very good at using his own imagination to create the teasers that he writes about. His own characters – and perhaps the one he portrays with menacing conviction and unabashed completeness – are the embodiments of Dr. Jekyll, just with much more rationale. It’s Dr. Jekyll, had he been right and thinking straight, but still doing his damage. It’s a complete experience anytime 31 Knots is in

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